Friday, December 21, 2012

Where is your agency...

I have been thinking a lot about agency and the many different things we choose to place our agency in. It's been at the forefront of my mind because it has been something that I have struggled with and something that a lot of those around me are struggling with. There are so many in such great darkness right now, maybe because of loss or maybe because of drama with friends or maybe just a schedule that is far out of hand. Life is stressful and when we place our agency in other things it tends to become so much more helpless... So what are some of the things we place agency in... Well there are of course the things that are good and others that are not so good and not leading us to a place of hope.

Lets talk about the bad agencies first. The ones of the world that bring nothing but a moment of pleasure and a lasting pain. These are the agencies of the world. Things like alcohol and drugs and even possessions. Things that are tangible and momentary, they will never bring lasting hope or comfort, only a momentary rush that is nothing more than a simple numbing. I don't care who you are i'm sure you have fallen to these things at least once in your life. I know I have, I have had moments of hopelessness where I place my agency in something momentary and worldly. It's natural but we should develop power over these things and realize they will never bring a lasting joy and they will never bring  forth good fruits. They will never drive up to do good!

Now there are things that we can put our agency in that are better and better use of our time and effort but they still aren't the best. Things like our jobs, our church organizations and people. All good things that are right and true but they will not do us any good to place our agency in. Why must you ask? Because when we place our agency in these better things we still will not win. All these things are good things but none of them are perfect. I personally am a people pleaser, I will try and do everything in my power to make everyone happy and also make everyone love me. The fact of the matter is not everyone loves me and not everyone will be happy. By being a people pleaser I will never truly be happy because I will always burden my mind with ways to make everyone els better and never take care of me. So you see even these good things do not deserve our agency, when our agency is placed in these things we still wont find peace and hope. Maybe a little longer that with the tangible things but it won't last.

So where is the hope where should we put our agency? (Here's where I'm going to get churchy.) We have to put our full agency into God!! We have to work through him and submit completely to him! Part of placing our agency in God is realizing that we have to humble and fix ourselves before we try and save the world. The beautiful part about putting our agency in  God is that everything else will work out in the end. True there will still be moments of trial and pain but there will be longer taste of hope and joy and all the good things will fall into place. All the other things that we think we are supposed to focus on, jobs, people, church all those good things will work in the end when we put our agency in God. So for me this next year I am going to work even harder to put my whole agency in God because I know that if I do so all the rest of life will work out!

Well there is my little ramble for the night! Time to go snuggle my puppy have a fantastic evening!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Never goodbye, just see ya later!....

Now its time to say goodbye
to all our company. 

see you real soon 
why? because we like you

I will not lie last week was one of the hardest weeks. I have had to say goodbye to so many things and amazing people. I have loved my time in Florida more than I can ever express. Florida is where I needed to come to grow up and find the real me! I have not regretted any of my time here everything I have done here, both good and bad has all been part of an unforgettable adventure and has built me for my ongoing adventure. 

Tomorrow my roommate and I head out on the 35 hour drive to Colorado along with two dogs and cat. Come on we know how to have fun, admit it! It will be an awesome time, but my heart is heavy. I am so excited for what lies ahead but I do not leave the past easily or people. So I want to dedicate this blog to the incredible people here in Florida who have touched my life. 

I love you all so much my Disney family, my SeaWorld family, my church family and my friends who are my family now. All who helped make my Florida life become an adventure I love you all! You have changed my life for good! 

On one of the last nights in Florida we all went to to Epcot and we watched Illuminations (the fireworks show) which happens to be my favorite. I was ok, wasn't crying until the song "We go on" came on and I was tightly hugged by those I love dearly. I listened close to the words and reflected on an amazing two years full of adventure and growth! I reflected on the people I had met, the ones who have hurt me and built me, I reflected on the jobs I've had that have taught me and showed me a real and beautiful world.

More than anything I reflected on my testimony and how it has grown even more. I have lived, I have been tempted, I have felt the influence of Satan, I have felt loneliness and pain. I have come to the brink of giving up, but I have done my best to always stand back up. As I stood there reflecting I felt a humble pride of what I have accomplished in my short life. I know very well that it was not me, it was done through my Heavenly Father. I am nothing except through him, then I am everything! I will never forget the people of my Florida life, I will never forget the lessons learned in the last two years. I will take this Michayla and give her over to the Lord and his service! Just know it was never done alone!!!! 

We go on:

With the stillness of the night
there comes a time to understand
to reach out and touch tomorrow 
take the future in our hand

We can see a new horizon 
built on all that we have done 
and our dreams begin another
thousand circles 'round the sun

We go on 
to the joy and through the tears 
We go on 
to discover new frontiers 
Moving on 
with the current of the years 
We go on 
moving forward, now as one 
Moving on 
with a spirit born to run 
Ever on 
with each rising sun

To a new day
We go on

We go on 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

"The soul is healed by being with children."

"The soul is healed by being with children."

This is and English proverb and also something that hit me harder than usual today after another great Sunday with my incredible CTR 4 class! I will not lie the last couple weeks have been very up, down, in and out. I go to church with different weights on my mind and I am always baffled by how much better I feel afterwards. Not only do I feel closer to God but I feel like a real someone again. I am a primary teacher for the CTR 4 class in our ward. I truly love each and everyone of those little ones, they are so angelic. I work with them and I see nothing but light, truth and love.... and the occasional booger... They see things so simply and so clearly and honestly. 

Today we talked about the life of Jesus Christ and how he was born just like they were and that's why we celebrate Christmas time. We talked about his childhood and how he was a little kid just like them. I asked them what he did when he was an adult... Almost all of them raised there hands and told me that he did miracles. They told me that he died for everyone. We talked about his resurrection and how he died, but not really cause he came to life again. To them the stories are so simple and so real without a shadow of any sort of doubt, they don't care what the world thinks, they don't over think the stories and they never second guess. They truly know the Savior as their own best friend. 

I love teaching these angels so very much they truly do heal the soul (even on their rough days). They have that magical innocence that adults can't even achieve. I just wish our world didn't frown so much on the childlike ways of seeing life because those ways will heal the broken, hurting soul. I will never be able to fully thank these children for the gifts and lessons they have given me. They have truly changed my life and have done so much to help me come closer to my Savior and to the real me! I will miss them terribly when it comes time to leave!!
 My greatest wish is to become more as these little children!! 

That is my little thought for tonight, have a lovely evening! 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I hope they call me on a mission...

Hello friends! So guess who's moving back to Colorado?!?! This girl!! Guess who's not staying long...?? That's right this girl!! I have decided to serve a mission. It has been a long and very hard decision mostly because if you know me at all you know how much I over think everything. I have come to the conclusion that this is what I need to do, scratch that, this is what God wants me to do.

I am insecure, I don't always like Me I don't always see the beauty within, but I am confident in the Gospel and my unbelievable love for every person I come across. I am not going on a mission because I am not married and I have nothing up next for me. I am going because I do have so much going for me. This is hard I have built a life in Florida with two jobs that I love dearly. Not to mention the people I have fallen in love with but it's God's time.

I have had two incredible years in Florida and I feel like I have come so much closer to finding the real Me. I have found it through incredibly hard and beautiful times. I have had to be a big girl but I have had adventure doing it. I honestly feel like my heavenly Father has given me these two years to find adventure and more importantly find Me! Now it's time for Me to share this precious gift with the world. What is this gift that is so perfect and precious?

This is the true and everlasting Gospel of Jesus Christ! This is the single most important thing in my life. My knowledge of the Gospel has literally saved my life more times than I will ever admit to count. It is the very foundation of everything that is Michayla. It is my light in an increasingly horrible and dark world. We are nothing without foundation. Well I am truly nothing without the Gospel! I want nothing more than to share this most foundational part of myself with the world! It will bring true peace, joy, and eternal peace of mind.

I must say this decision has been hard and in the worlds standard extremely lonely. It's amazing how much Satan knows us and knows what and who to use against us. He is dark and evil and will do anything to bring us down to his level of despair... He is getting stronger and we are all being affected by it. It seems to be one thing after another, Bam, Bam BAM!!!! He punches he blows and kicks us when we are down. Luckily we still have the choice to get up and fight or stay down beaten and victim to the world... We have the choice, and part of that choice is opposition, no matter how much Satan beats us down Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will give us the light and weapons to fight back and in the end we will conquer all evil, we just have to stand true and decide!

I want everyone around me to feel what is in my heart I want everyone to have the tools to defeat the evils of life. I want us all to feel the joy that I know is there is we ask and seek it! I have never wanted anything so much in my life, so no this is not a lonely unmarried, undecided future decision this is a long and hard thought out decision for something I love so much I am willing to give everything for it and give everything for others to have what I have. Well I do plan on covering more in the future but I wanted to tell the world what was going on! I hope and pray for adventure and more growth as I move forward with this decision to give my life to my Heavenly Father and my fellow man with all the love in my heart!

Love you all!!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Satan is real!

Guess what friends, I am incredibly grateful especially after the last couple weeks. I have noticed something, the fall seems to be a low time or maybe we are just nearing the end of days, who knows? I just know that the few weeks have been very difficult and trying the last few weeks. There have been breakups, accidents, police, elections, threats of suicide, death and so much more all over the place. I feel like everywhere I turn there is something new stressing out, or bringing down a friend. It's a time of darkness and dismay. Luckily through the sorrows and the let downs there is always something beautiful, I will explain on but I need to go back to the reality of darkness for a moment.

The other day I went to institute (Bible study for college students for the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day saints.) We were discussing opposition and how we will be tested by the adversary. Then we talked about Joseph Smith and the first vision. He went to humbly ask God what church to join, and before he got an answer he was tested and Satan took him over:

15 After I had retired to the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I wasaseized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick bdarkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction.
 16 But, exerting all my powers to acall upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into bdespair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being—just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of clight exactly over my head, above the brightness of the dsun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.

That is just a small piece of the chapter that tells the first vision but during this experience he learned so much more than what church to join and that God was real but the LDS people often forget is that he also learned the reality of Satan.

I feel like so many around have gone through that same realization, without even knowing it. I know I have!! I always knew, but in the last few months it has truly become a realization that Satan is just as real and present in our lives. I also feel that we all go through these moment similar to Joseph where just when all hope is lost and despair is upon us the light comes to rescue us and bring comfort! Not to mention I think it's those moments of despair that bring us to a submissiveness that allows us to fully learn what we need to from the good and bad moments.

The fact of the matter is Heavenly Father is real, Jesus Christ is real and so is Satan. If we work to put our agency fully to Heavenly Father we will always be rescued from the despair! There is always opposition, not only against us but for us too! There will be an increase in evil but because of opposition there really will always be the same amount of good too, we just might have to look a little harder for it!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Dear mother, I brought the end of the world...

Sooo.... If you know me at all, you know that I have a small (but totally healthy) interest in the end of the world/Apocalypse. I love nothing more than to snuggle up with a good piece of the book of Revelation after a good segment on History channel about some sort of theory of the future and our doom. Anyway it has been at the front of my mind more than usually in particular the anti Christ, who is supposedly the one to bring the end of times to pass. Then I started to think about who he might be and where he came from, which then brought me to his mother and a rather interesting theory I have.

Everyone has a mother right? So that must mean the anti christ, whoever he is must have one too right? As I talked to a few different people about what she might be like, they looked at me a little weird and then said that she must be evil. To raise such a creation that brings on the end of the world and the return of Christ you have to be evil right? Well that is part of what think. She might be evil as evil can be teaching her son in all the devilish ways he needs to bring this entire chapter of the Plan of Salvation to great and dreadful end. What if she is not evil what if she has the strength equivalent to Mary or even stronger?

So here is my big theory, but first I need to talk about Satan and the Plan of Salvation (the plan in which the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints aka Mormons, believe in) in this plan we believe that we all lived with our Heavenly Father in a pre-mortal existence before Adam and Eve and even before the Earth. We believe that there was a war in Heaven over what plan to choose, Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation (hint, hint we picked that) and Lucifer's plan (a plan with no agency simply just come to Earth do what we are told and go back home, no choice, no experience, no learning. Giving all glory to Lucifer) Anyway Lucifer's Plan was denied he and one third of the host of Heaven were cast down to Hell. Why is this part of my theory? Because the last being to bring forth the end to a precious piece of this plan was Satan, so the anti Christ must be almost, if not equally evil to Satan.

So now here we go my theory on the mother to this evil creature is that maybe she is a strong beautiful God fearing women, someone that is trained in the Gospel and strong to the equivalent of Mary. Very bold I understand but if you think of it for a man/women to be THAT incredibly evil I think they would have to have been raised in goodness and truth. The most unforgivable sin it to deny the Holy Ghost. I think for the anti Christ to be that truly evil they would have had to choose to deny God and truth, just as Lucifer (who had full knowledge) denied the Father.

If my theory is at all correct and this women, this mother is not evil and is good, she would have to be just about one of the most strengthened of all Heavenly Father's children. Perhaps strong enough that in the pre-mortal life she volunteered to take on this task. If this is so and she is not the mother of all evil then my heart aches for her and the pain she will experience as she endures a future that her child will bring to an end, or bring on the beginning?....

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Passion vs. Addiction....

Passion is a fantastic thing. It's been one of my biggest awe-ha moments lately. I have also noticed that true passion is starting to die or become miss interpreted. I fear that many in our world have a hard time deciphering passion from addiction. Yes, I do believe that passion and addiction are very similar and it can be very hard to tell if one is addicted to something or passionate about it. You may come to disagree but guess what I don't care, this is my blog ha!

Anyway, you have passion. For me passion is extremely powerful. It is a love for something that is magnified into into almost an obsession. However just like anything it should be taken in moderation, I also believe it should be spread and grown to other things. Allow to explain further. I have great passion for the gospel, I would give my everything for the gospel, it is the most important thing in the world to me. Of course I have other passions too like cattle, education, America etc... I feel that passions are almost like talents you should find more and more, and make yourself and expert over your passions. I think they should be good strong healthy passions as well (obviously.) I honestly think that without passion nothing would ever get done. No one would care enough to fight if they weren't passionate. Joan of Arc, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Jesus Christ, and so many others accomplished all these world changing events because of their passion.

Now before I get to my point I want to talk about addiction. Addiction is painful and something that each and everyone of us will deal with in our lives in some form. I don't know what your addictions are but I know I have my own and I fight them everyday. Now we are all on a mortal experience and addiction is something that we all must experience and overcome. We live in a world that tells us every minute that addiction is good, we should own and accept our addictions. In reality they are harmful and completely and utterly Selfish. Yup I said it our addictions are as low and selfish as we can go. This about your personal addiction (I will think about mine.) Now think how that addiction is something that pulls you from those you love and from your higher power, now think how that addiction is something sought not to build you and strengthen you, but to bring you some sort of twisted momentary happiness. Now think of how the world tells you that they are good and ok and hey you were born that way!! Yah you may have been born to develop those addictions but remember We always have the choice in the end! Will we choose to become trapped in that addiction or will we choose to be free?

Now I want to compare Passion and Addiction because I think the world confuses us into thinking addictions are passions, and vise versa. True they are both a sort of obsession but you have addiction which serves you and you have passion which usually serves others. Either that or it builds us to change the world in some selfless way. When you google the word passion, one of the main things you see is Christ  and his sacrifice and Atonement which is often called the Passion of Christ! So to me having true passions will in the end bless others, my passion for education has already blessed not just me but others I know and love dearly. As you look at your life and what you consider yourself passionate about look and see if it will be something that blesses you and only you if so maybe it's not the best thing to be spending your time on, perhaps it's time to see if maybe that is an addiction, and solve the problem. Please by all means don't allow that addiction to make you a victim, instead choose to destroy that from your mind and find your true passions!! Remember that passions will bring forth good fruit so go journey out and find that thing and makes you want to give up everything so defend. Find your passion and share it with the world! I will tell you one thing, passions are not easy they take much time and study and they grow and develop at their own pace but when they are found they will break your heart with care and joy!! Go search, find, share your passion!!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Poop, shavings, hell and hope for our future!

I just returned to Florida from another fantastic visit to my beautiful Colorado. This past weekend was the Park County Fair, it also became the weekend for the new batman and the day a man would walk into an Aurora movie theatre set a bomb and shoot into a crowd killing 12 and wounding many more. Through the excitement and stress of the fair we all somehow found our own little ways to honor those who had been lost in this horrible tragedy. As for me I choose thought to be my tool for dealing with tragedies of the world.

As I sat and thought of this evil that had been done, and of all the evil being done. My heart felt heavy and depressed at the thought of how horrible the world has become, as I know many of you have thought along these lines. I continue to watch the news and observe closely what is going on around me. The more I thought the worse I felt. Then I had one of those beautiful moments of hope and relief, one of those moments that reminds me that there is opposition in all things and Heavenly Father will always allow the good to counter the bad.

So what was this magical moment? Well as I sat and agonized over the thought of evil taking over the hearts of men I looked around and saw what was right there in front of me. You want to know what I saw? I saw people, beautiful people that I know and love with all my heart. These people are some of the hardest working, down to heart people I know. I looked I saw the kids, the 4hers, these kids are tough and full of passion and heart. I have never met a kid that works harder than a 4her or a farm kid. They don't mind getting stepped on pushed around and beaten down because they know how to wipe the dust from their jeans and stand right back up again. When they need to they have heart and a connection to this earth that one can only have by working it and it's creatures. Yah they eat their own animals but these kids put more heart and love into that animal than you will ever know unless you have done it. It's hard as hell to sell those animals but because of the love you have for them and the others of the future you keep doing every year because of the reward of giving an animal the best life and bringing it to it's purpose is amazing.

Anyway back to what I was talking about, hope. These kids are strong and bring me hope. I saw that in my little brother Malachi who despite his very injured foot and a steer that decided to be a nasty little devil, finished the show, evan after being trampled multiple times. I don't know if there ever was a time I was more proud of him than in that moment after showmanship went bad and he told me he needed to finish the job! In my eyes, in that moment my little brother became so much closer to being a man than most in our world will ever be. This is the spirit of a 4her, I have to finish the job, even through the pain. The 4her spirit is also caring and teaching, I saw that when I watched an older 4her surrounded by little children as she washed, brushed and took care of her calves. Every time I turned around the 4her had another little girl helping her wash or another boy asking to sit on her steer. Without fail every time she gave them a big smile and took the time to let them be a part of her project.

That's how the 4h kid is, sure there are the moments of stress and politics that invade the 4h situation, feeling still get hurt and many end of leaving because of it, but the program of 4h teaches you more about life and what the real world is like in ways that no other activity can. So as I sit and think about this tragedy and all that goes on in our world. I will think of these kids that continually work to make the world better in a seemingly small way. I will think of them and the tears shed for a little steer, hog, or lamb and I will see how they have the very smallest taste of what our Savior feels when he watches his lambs go off to the slaughter. I will look at these 4hers and I will find hope for the future!

Saturday, July 14, 2012


I love people. This hit me again like a ton of bricks the other day, I love people. I don't know why I love people, they are mean and manipulative, angry and cold. People know how to hurt the most, and yet I love them all of them. Even the ones I hate so much I could take them out, I still love them and want them to have every chance in the world to be better. So why do I love people is it a gift or is it a curse? A blessing or a burden?

Let's start off with the nasty. People are mean, I have worked with cattle since I was young and I have been dragged, stepped on and trampled. No animal no injury will ever compare to the pain brought on by people. I have walls, we all have walls and I feel like almost every time we break them down just a little, someone comes in for a sneak attack. This leads to a build up of even stronger harder walls. I will never forget the pain brought by some best friends, people I let into my tight circle of trust who broke, no, shattered that circle. The pain they have caused will never heal it will always remain in my memory forever and ever. People are also cunning and tricky we know just how to push the right buttons to make others feel the worst about themselves and others.

This is all brought on by the world and the evil natural man that lurks in our souls. That dark side inside. We all have it don't try and deny it. I know that as you read this your dark side becomes tickled at the mention of its name. Unfortunately we all have moments of letting that darkness free to feed on the light of ourselves and others. Some much more than others.  It is warped and evil but every time we let that darkness take over we let it run more and more of our minds sometimes we allow it to completely take over. We must combat it all that we can. That dark side will fight more and more to be free but we must use our agency to keep it withheld. If we don't we allow for pain and anguish on us and those we love.

As nasty and horrible people are that is just how good and beautiful they can be, all of them, even those that let the dark control they still have a small piece of light that gives them beauty. I love all people and their ability to love and care. There truly is opposition in all things because every evil thing a person does is countered by something amazing a person does. It truly is amazing to me.

That is why I love people because of their ability to be good. I have been hurt many times as I know we all have. I can honestly say that I still love those who have hurt me with all my heart. If they wanted to be back in my life I would apologize and forgive in a second because I can't stand losing people. Every person I have known has somehow touched my heart for good, some more than others, but in someway I have been touched.

I think it's a gift to love people as much as I do, true their is burden to the love I have, but there is burden to every blessing. I am not trying to be big headed just honest. I want to help everyone and change their lives for good because all people are good and have love in their heart. I think that is why I want to teach is because I want to bless others and touch their lives almost as much as they touch mine, with their many shapes sizes and many fantastic passions. I know it opens me up to criticism and pain but I am going to continue to love all people with all my heart!

I just wanted express my feelings of love even as I struggled with some people in my life. I love them so much they will never truly know!

Goodnight all have a magnificent evening!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Random Colorado learnin...

So I just returned from a wonderful trip home in colorful Colorado. It was fantastic and I was quite sad to leave. I love my Florida family so much and they have truly changed my life. Not to mention Florida has been a huge jumping off point to finding the real me. I feel I have "grown up" and discovered I can handle things I didn't think possible, little things, like missing a flight and having to reschedule, or having to take care a house without your parents asking you to, or even just knowing when to change the oil. Things we don't always think about, they can be hard but they are signs that we are all growing and learning. For that I extremely grateful to Florida for teaching me these things and giving myself the assurance that I can take care of myself, even if sometimes I don't choose to see it. As great as Florida is I don't think I could stay here forever it's just not my cup of tea, we shall see in the next little while if this holds true. There is something enchanting about the mountains and the atmosphere of the west, particularly Colorado.

There is a different view point out there a closer to God view point and connection with the outdoors that can't be beat. I found this to be true when I went for a long walk in the woods and later fell asleep on a rock. I awoke to startled deer that bounded through the trees when I awoke. There is a peace found in the mountains that is so still and so spiritual you can't know until you have felt it. I have felt it in Florida wilderness as well but the mountains are my element.

So what else did I learn on my Colorado visit? Well I learned how much I really do love my family and friends. I have been so blessed with a foundation of people that have taught me so much. They are amazing and I hope they all know that. They have all changed me for good,  even those that have hurt me, they have made me stronger in more ways than I can understand right now. That is one thing that makes leaving places so hard, the people. People are crazy and stupid, they are beautiful and we cannot go through life with out touching each other. We need each other to thrive and to grow and to become closer to God. He commanded us to love one another, well you can't really do that unless you have others in your life to love.

Here is the most amazing thing that I learned in Colorado. When I went for that walk and fell asleep in the forest I had a personal revelation. I'm not going into detail, but heres a little part of the peace I felt on that pretty day. I was thinking about praying in the forest and asking Heavenly Father for guidance and help with the future and I got to thinking about Joseph Smith and his prayer in the forest that changed history and brought about my religion. I thought to myself do I need to ask as he did about what church is true and if Heavenly Father was really there...? Then came the bounding deer through the forest and the sun shinning through the trees and I knew. I knew he was there and he was listening to me and I knew I knew!!! I know that sounds silly but it was a very profound moment for me. Then I reflected on the times that I have sought out what I know to be true. I felt an overwhelming feeling that I didn't need to ask about the truth, I already knew it and I knew that I was willing to give anything to protect it. I knew I knew... How many can look at what they believe and know they know it?

So there was a little glimpse of my little awe-ha moment in the forest, it's a little weird but for me it was very peaceful. I am so glad I have my knowledge of the gospel that gives me my foundation for my life. I am grateful for all religion that gives us all a goal and reason to live. I know everyone has truth and I know that Heavenly Father loves those who believe in something divine and greater than them. I wish we could all see this and not judge and punish others for their belief. We all have our reasons to believe and we all have our spiritual confirmations that have led us to what we know, who are we to decide who is right and who is wrong...?

Those were just a couple of the things learned in Colorado. Colorado my dear friend we are not done, that is for sure. I hope to return to your spirit to share your lessons with my future family. Colorado you are a blessed place in a promised land. I will return I don't know when, it could be years but I will return...

Friday, May 18, 2012

Has chivalry died?

I am currently reading a very good book. It's a book that all men and women should have to read especially those who are searching for themselves and for a partner. Anyway the book is about finding the real heart of a man. It's meant for guys but I think it's just as helpful for women, it helps us girls know how we can assist in renewing the hearts of our men. It also helps us see how we as wives, mothers, sisters, friends are de-masculating the men in our lives and how they are letting it happen. We live in a different society a society that is ruled by technology and appearances. The heart of a man a heart of honor and chivalry is being long.

Where are the dragon slayers? Where is chivalry? Has it died or is tucked deep in the hearts of men? That is the questions this book answers. It helps its reader realize the the loss of the real men. It's quite sad especially as a young girl to see how the real men are being lost and put down by society. When I talk to other girls my age looking for their prince charming they are looking for a sensitive men who is caring and sweet, even without examining if that is really the most important quality that they want in a man. So many want an Edward a man that will love them no matter whether they put forth effort or not. Blah I say, WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN? Where are the John Wayne's, the Captain Americas the of the world? The MEN of real heart, adventure, strength and so much more. That's the kind of guy I wish we had more of. The ones that aren't afraid to fight to work to live. I'm so tired that society has filled men with fear and created guys that are only about words and never about action. They talk adventure but have they ever been close to death have they ever gone out and found their true heart of a man?

This has been one of my biggest struggles with life right now as I enter this world of dating a potential marriage that there are dwindling numbers of real men in the world. I know they are out there though I've met them I know many but some still hide their hearts from a world of hatred and femininity. Which brings me to my next point, us girls. We are destroying our men and in return we are destroying ourselves. We are not meant to be men we are meant to be equal companions. We both have skills to bring to the world skills that the other doesn't have for a reason. Girls go look at my blog on mothers an see how truly special our skills are. We must not undermined in our abilities simply because we are girls, we must see the beauty in them because we are women. Stop this idea that men and women are exactly the same, we are equal in our abilities but not the same in them. Girls we need to change ourselves to help make our men stronger. You may think you want an Edward to watch you sleep at night but I submit that your heart as a women doesn't want that. Deep down women want a man that will fight for their damsel. We want to be swept of our feet and be protected, even if we think we can do it ourselves there is nothing wrong with wanting to be swept away and fought for. You know it's true ladies so stop denying it.

So here's my challenge for today and forever. Boys become men, go on adventure stop talking and start acting, fight for the damsel in distress, find your heart. Girls become women, don't just look for any man look for a real man that will fight for you and sweep you away. Give them something to protect, back off let them be men and have their adventures and have their rights as men. In my opinion the way a women can show her true strength is by embracing her womenhood and letting her man fight for her. By no means are you being weak. Men keep in mind that the women wants to be fought for but don't make the adventure all about her bring her into your adventure.

I think this is my favorite part of Wild at Heart he says: "A women doesn't want to be the adventure; she wants to be caught up into something greater than herself. Our friend went on to say,"I know myself and I know I'm not the adventure. So when a man makes me the point, I grow bored immediately. I know that story. Take me into one I don't know." I love that part which is why it's probably my favorite.

So I talked about Edward and how much I dislike him. Who are fictional examples of real men? First is my favorite, John Wayne! He is a real man. He is strong and honorable he is not afraid to fight for the girl and anything else he believes in. He is strong and tough as hell but he has a passionate romantic side to him as seen in The Quiet Man when he grabs her and kisses her in the rain. I want more John Wayne's in the world real men who work hard and have tasted death and the true love of a real women. Another very recently popular man I love is Captain America. He is strong and packs a punch but boy does he have heart. A little more tender than John Wayne but still a real man that has reason to live, to fight, to have adventure. So as I end another rant of Michayla I give a call for men to become dragon slayers and women to be the princesses!

Have a good day!

Monday, May 14, 2012

My greatest calling! This is for you mommy!!

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.  ~Victor Hugo

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.  ~Jewish Proverb

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.  Abraham Lincoln 

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.  George washington 

It's mother's day, naturally I thought I would talk about motherhood! Not to mention with a mother like mine there is no better way to express love than writing so I dedicate this to my beautiful mother. Motherhood is beautiful and sacred. I am at a weird stage in life of finding my future. Ever since I was a child I have changed from carrier to carrier, first I wanted to be a princess (ok that one still holds true) then an animal biologist, then a vet, a nurse now I'm going for teacher. The one carrier I have been sure about since I was little was motherhood. As I cradled my little dolls I dreamed of one day being a wife and mommy and raising children of my own. I am so grateful for the amazing examples of my mother and other second mothers who have all had a hand in building me and preparing me for the greatest calling God has for his children!! 

We live in a screwed up world that tells you motherhood is weak. That being "just" a mom is not enough. You are not a strong modern day women if you make motherhood your number one duty. They say you will never change the world by "just" being a mom. Well guess what? They are wrong. Motherhood is the hardest job a women can have. I have done hard work in my life raising cattle and such but none of it compares to the hours my mommy put into raising me and my siblings. Despite what the world thinks motherhood is the greatest thing a women can do. And those who say mothers can't change the world take a look at every man and women who changed history, they all were taught by a mother of some sort.  Each of them, mothers are the ones that make history possible. 

I am proud to be a women and proud to have the gift to someday become a mom. I would have it no other way. Many may think that women are belittled by men. Especially when they look at my religion. Yes men hold the priesthood which is the power of God on the earth. I have seen that power in motion. People in our society see that as old fashioned and unequal and belittling women. On the contrary we have our own power of God on the earth. That power is the power to bring his children into this earth. In the Other Side of Heaven there is a quote that I love "Of all God's creations his children are his greatest glory." We are all his greatest glory and the women get the chance to fulfill his greatest creation. I am proud of this strength and power that both sexes have. I wish everyone could see the power of motherhood and how special it truly is. Not only that but the strength that it takes. 

I think that Eve the mother of creation knew this somehow in her mind when she took the forbidden fruit. I have known women who blame her for their misfortune of being a women. When God placed Adam and Eve in the garden he gave them two commandments, to not partake of the fruit and to multiply and replenish the earth. They could not obey both. I feel like Eve made the decision because she wanted to be a mother. She chose to partake so that she could bring us all into this mortal experience to choose and grow and work to return to our father in heaven. 

So I've established I can't wait to be a mom one day. Where did this want come from? I'll tell you it came from my wonderful mommy. I love my mommy so much she is smart and beautiful. She has taught me so much about life and motherhood. She has also taught me strength and how to think. I'm a little different, I think a little different, she taught me that. Not only has she been a wonderful mother to me and my siblings but also to many. She has shared and mentored many of my closest friends. I have to admit at times I was jealous of how much everyone loved my mom and wanted her attention. I now feel pride for how much she has help others around her. I am full of the greatest pride to be able to say she is my mommy. I strive and hope everyday that I will be half the women she is. I work to walk in her shoes but I have a lot of growing to do. I hope that she can one day see how amazing she really is! I work everyday to be the best women I can be just like my best friend my mother!

(PS. Also a big thank you to all you my second moms out there who have helped me become who I am. I love you all.) 


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Make every moment an adventure!

I feel like talking about journey and adventure, why? First of all those are two very big words in my mind. Also I am sitting here in the airport waiting to fly home to my sweet Colorado. Is there a better time?

Life is a journey, we have all heard this. There are times when the journey is fun and easy but many times we find that the journey is rough and full of trials and little "bumps in the road." What we sometimes forget is that the journey is a good thing and the "bumps" are what make it all worth it. Adventure and journey are two words that I strongly believe create our strongest character, we all know how much I love character! Not only does the journey build us and make us who we are it also takes us to our destination, let's just make sure we keep our sights on through the whole journey and not only focus on the destination.

The first part of the journey needs to be the why? Why do we have this journey? Why do we go through all the crap of life? And even more important what is the destination? We should all have a reason that we journey we need to have a focus, a destination. This in and of it's self is a journey but that is the beauty of journey's, they all somehow connect to form one. They build on each other. I have found my destination I want to return home to my Heavenly Father in his Celestial Kingdom, so now it's time to continue on. I have found the destination and through finding the destination I have found reason to continue. As you read and contemplate ask yourself about your destination. Is it one you found for you? or Did someone else find it for you? Is it really what you want? All important questions that we many time neglect. We get so wrapped up in the conveyor belt of our own little world that we forget to stop and ask, why am I doing this? How did I find this road? Please I beg you to find your reason and see if it's truly the journey you need to be on.

So we have the destination now it's time for my favorite part, the preparation! We have to prepare ourselves mentally and physically for the journey of life. We have to make sure we have all the tools we need to succeed, trust me we are given plenty of chances and resources to prepare, we just let ourselves get lazy sometimes. We have to be prepared for whatever could happen. Growing up in the mountains in a well prepared knowledgeable family has made me realize the importance of always being ready for anything. For me and my journey I have found spiritual tools and knowledge and I know that my Heavenly Father will put many more resources along my path if ever I am getting low on my supplies. Mentally I have taken the time to learn and have experience to help me be prepared for the hard times.

So we got the destination, the tools and knowledge. Now it's time to get ourselves going, we are not getting anywhere by sitting. The journey is long and hard there is temptation, pain, suffering, detours, shortcuts everything you can think of and experience. If we are well prepared we can concur the hardships, but there will be many times when we fall or stray or maybe we just don't have the tool for the job. This is normal and good for us to learn, but that's the key to moving forward Learning! I think that is when we get the most lost is when we choose not to learn and seek for an easier way. Guess what? There's not one, the easy way will end up being the hardest longest way and sometimes it won't take us back to our path.

We have to make sure that we don't completely avoid the hardships because those are the biggest adventures. Adventures and experiences are the best parts of the whole thing they prepare us for later and give stories to tell for when we arrive. We as humans need danger in our lives to keep our souls alive. We yearn to learn and we learn best through experience. So be sure to let the adventure come and look at every moment as an adventure. I promise it will make the journey a million times better! One thing I am also trying to work on is avoiding consistency, I do too much of the same stuff all the time. We all do we all like what's comfortable. As you go on make sure you do new and different things, make sure you "stop and smell the roses" again ENJOY THE JOUNEY! Open your eyes and see the beauty that surounds you each and every day.

I want to talk about another very important part of your journey. People! You need to connect with others and create true relationships. True this is your journey but one of the biggest parts of this and the learning will come from the people you cross paths with. Not only that but we are not meant to travel alone we are meant to have buddies as we go along. Sometimes we will lose them and they will go a different direction, but we will always have others close by watching us and continuing with us. For the greatest success we need to make these relationships meaningful and deep. We have to let others in to our hearts so that we can grow and work of each other. It's another way to keep ourselves prepared. Yes people will hurt us, at times it will feel like the rip your heart out but this is just another way we grow and prepare for next time. It may hurt at times but there is no denying we have to have companions on this journey. Of course our Lord, our higher power should be the one we stick with the most. This includes building a meaningful relationship with whoever they are. For me I work daily to keep my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost as my close personal friends. I speak to them and they are my ultimate guides after all they are the ones who have laid out my chosen path. They also bring with them unending strength and help and the greatest companionship one can ask for. In the end we can't and won't be alone unless we work hard to chose loneliness even then someone is always watching waiting to be our companion!

We all are going to fall we all are going to drift and find ourselves in troubling situations but I know if we keep our sights right and prepare ourselves with the right tools we come out on top and we will succeed in our journey. I hope that we can all think on our lives and what we have traveled thus far. Are we headed to the right destination? Have we allowed for the experience? Have we enjoyed the random beauty? Have we chosen to learn? Do we chose and keep the right companions? Do we have a constant friend in our Heavenly Father? All questions to ponder and think on as we continue on in the journey of life!

Have a wonderful evening and I hope you all will work hard to enjoy the journey and do your best to make ever moment an adventure!

Monday, April 30, 2012


I have a challenge for my self and for each one of you! Ready? Here it is, this is pretty epic and seemingly impossible... Alright here it is.... BE HAPPY! Wow monumental I know but I'm serious. I wish everyone could just try to be a little happier about life. We live in this trial filled world that drowns the light and happiness out of us. It is quite depressing and heartbreaking. You want to know the worst part? We let it happen, we let the sadness and the darkness take hold of us, then we get to a deep painful world where the pain is easier and desirable. This is a sick way that Satan messes with our minds and we let it happen everyday!

Satan traps us in a pleasure of pain. You probably don't want to see it but this is true and most of us fall into his trap. We don't want to hear this but it is necessary. We like pain and depression, What the heck Michayla? Hear me out, we like to be victims, we have dark pleasures for others and ourselves to feel sorry about how awful our life is. It is a sick way to think but I guarantee that sometime in our life we have all fallen into this way of thinking. I know I have I struggle with it continually. We all have a victim mentality that makes everything into a huge awful event, in reality it is but a small moment. I wish that we could all see this demon inside, but unfortunately a very small amount of people will ever see this love of pain and sadness, I promise that those who over come this will find joy in their lives!

So if you decide that you want to change this then you have to first see it in yourself (not in others) then you have to want to change. You have to be happy! I am so sick and tired of having everyone around me be so low and depressed all the time. So many are always unhappy and I understand how hard life gets but there is no hope through sadness. Nothing gets better through being depressed about it. You want to know the truth about depression? It is a selfish addiction to pain. When you are depressed you are only thinking about you. When you let this take over you don't do any good for anyone, you don't fix the situation, you make it worse for yourself and for others. Please don't feel offended over what I say. I know all too well how awful depression is and how nearly impossible it is to be rid of. It is very real and a true sometimes medication needed sickness!  It's like a cold dark blanket of chains is dragging you deep down to the darkest corner of the earth where there is no light or hope.  But there is hope! There is always hope!!!

We can choose! We have agency over our own mind and body. We may not always understand that power but it is there! We can choose to be happy we can choose to escape the dark corners of the earth. It is hard no doubt but it is very possible! I wish that we all could have the courage and the willingness to pull ourselves up, but many will never choose this simply because of their pride and selfish desires. Those who choose to remain in dark places are the controllers and heartbreakers. Eventually they get to such a lonely place that all they want is to control and drag everyone down with them. We must not allow for this, it is not right for them or the people who they focus their anger and sadness on. No one should have to be dragged to that but it happens all too often. Look at yourself and make you are not doing this. It is hard for us to see ourselves clearly when we are like this. So strive and ask for a clear picture!

I wish these people could see the light and beauty around them. I wish they could see how amazing life can be and how beautiful people are.  Instead of trying to destroy others and themselves in their own pride and depression they could be living and doing so much good. They choose to harm and hurt. If you feel you may be one of these poor souls please do what you can do to change and see the hope that is out there. See the pain you bring to those you love, open your eyes and SEE! There is so much good. We are promised in the scriptures that there is opposition in all things which means that no matter how much evil is on the earth there is and equal amount of good and beauty. Look, SEE it is everywhere!

As life gets increasingly tough I ask that you try your hardest to choose happiness to choose to see that everything really will be okay, this hard time is a very small moment. Trust me I know how hard it can be to be the happy person. I try to always be happy even when my heart feels like it's being ripped from my chest but it blesses others and in the end that is worth the pain. Just make sure you take time for occasional sadness in the right places so you don't hold things in too much.  As I wrap up my ramblings for the night I challenge each and everyone of you to "Cowboy up" and Choose to be happy! It will bless you and others! Let go of the sadness and "Keep moving forward." Stop hurting yourself and others! BE HAPPY!!!!

Have a good night!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Michaylaist manifesto...

The Michaylaist manifesto
By Michayla 
In the dictionary a manifesto is defined as being a public declaration. So I Michayla declare my own personal manifesto to you the public, but I have another name for my manifesto and that is a testimony. A testimony or manifesto is a powerful and dangerous thing, all through history men and women have been punished for declaring their manifesto but I would rather be with them than be a coward who does not stand for what she knows to be true. Before I put forth my manifesto there is something else I need to do, and that is to declare my core, the very foundation of what I believe. Every person has a core to start their personal manifesto for me it is a series of scripture; The Bible, The Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants.  All very true books of scripture that have laid forth my foundation. So here go:

The  Godhead:
At the very base of what I believe is the Godhead but I don’t see it as other religions do as one being. I see it as three separate beings; Heavenly Father (God), Jesus Christ the only begotten son of the father and the Holy Ghost. I believe this to be the very base of what I believe. I take a lot of comfort in knowing that I have a loving Heavenly Father and that I am one of his children. I take comfort in knowing that I have a big brother in Jesus Christ who gave his own life and atoned for my sins so that I may return to that wonderful Father! I take even more comfort in knowing that because I have taken upon the name of Christ I can have the Holy Ghost with me always. I cannot physically, mentally or spiritually see how they can be one being with all they have done. If they were one being I personally would not be able believe in them as strongly as I do, I don’t see if I could love each of them as much as I do if they were all one being. I have felt the spirit manifest to me that they are three separate beings of one heart meaning that they are not one but one in purpose. 

I know God is my father and we are all his children. Despite what some think he is not a mean God he is a kind merciful loving father who wants his children to come home. I am a God fearing girl but not in the way of fear but in the way respect, when I say I am a God fearing person it does not mean he scares me it means to me that I respect him and that I am nothing except through him. I Michayla am nothing except through him then I am everything. I am proud to call myself a daughter of God. If I ever need his guidance I always have an unlimited line of prayer and personal revelation, that has proved helpful in many situations. 

Jesus Christ is my Savior and redeemer. He came to this Earth and he suffered death and pain so that I can go home. Even more than death he atoned for every single sin and he took upon himself every single pain of the world so that we can repent and go home. So that we would have someone to turn to when feel our worst. He gave us the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate gift. All he asks of us is that we use that gift daily. 

The Holy Ghost is known to me as the comforter or our spiritual guide. I know that when I was baptized and took upon myself the name of Christ I received the full companionship of the Holy Ghost, but we all can have him with us, but only when we act in a way that the spirit can dwell with us. I know The Holy Ghost is sent to me by my Heavenly Father so that I can have direction and comfort through some of my worst times.

The Plan of Salvation:
What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? Where did we come from? Where do we go after we die? These are four seemingly basic questions but on the contrary they are some of the most complicated questions known to man. For the past thousands of years we have asked ourselves and contemplated in great depth these huge questions. I know it to be true that all of these questions are answered in this simply laid out plan that was brought by our Heavenly Father it covers each of these questions perfectly and so many more.
How did this plan come to be?
Before we all came to Earth there was a war in heaven. A war that was fought by us over two different plans for us the first was Heavenly Father’s Plan of Salvation the second was Lucifer’s plan of almost slavery, his plan was a plan that would ensure a safe trip home, but there was a catch we would never get to choose it would all be chosen for us we would never know right from wrong, we would never get to live. In Lucifer’s plan he would see to it that all the glory would come his way. Heavenly Father’s plan was The Plan of Salvation, the plan for us to come to Earth receive a body of flesh and bone and to receive free agency, the knowledge of right and wrong, we would have the opportunity to choose and to live and  work our way to home. Included with this plan there would have to be a child of God who would be willing to come to earth go through the same process of life and then have to give the ultimate sacrifice. He would have to atone for our every sin and pain, then he would have to suffer and die for us and then be resurrected from death, all this would become the ultimate gift to us his brothers and sister so that we could repent and return home one day. In this war in Heaven Jesus Christ stood to be that son of God to do all that for us, but because of his love for his father he give all this glory to him. Now after these two plans were presented we were given a choice of which side to take. We are here today so we.
Chose to follow the father.

What step by step is this great plan?

The plan of Salvation starts at home in the 
*pre-mortal existence: Where we start in a spiritual state still with the father.

*The veil: Or spirits pass through to forget that of the heavenly life.

*Earth: We come here to Earth and receive a body of flesh and bone like the father. We receive our free agency to have opportunity to choose good from evil.  We are placed with an Earthly mother and father. We go through many trials to test us. We go up and down in good and bad things.

*Death: Our Spirits leave our bodies here on Earth but live on!

* Spiritual Paradise/Prison: Our spirits go here till the second coming. Spirit paradise is almost a pre heaven to those who have accepted Christ completely they spend time teaching others and learning and progressing. Spirit Prison is for the souls who have not accepted Christ, they are taught and given more chances to come unto Christ. Both places are here on Earth.

*Second coming/Resurrection: Christ comes to the Earth again in great glory. Every person who has ever lived is resurrected and rejoined with their bodies.

*Judgment: “By their fruits ye shall know them.” We are judged for what we did on Earth then placed in one of four places for Eternity.

*Outer Darkness (Hell): For those who are truly evil. Sons of perdition. Deny the Holy Ghost! The Really bad guys!

*Telestial kingdom/Glory of the stars: Much like Earth. For those who did wrong on Earth. Did not accept Christ. Can not dwell with the father. Still very wonderful.

*Terrestrial kingdom/Glory of the moon: Much better than last, but still not with The Father. 

*Celestial kingdom/Glory of the Sun: The most high of glories. For those truly followed Christ, Those who have entered covenants with God. You dwell with the father.

So there is a very small definition of this wonderful plan. I know with every fiber of my being that this plan is true. I have seen it in my life, I have seen how the knowledge of this plan has brought great peace to those in deep trials. I am reminded of past tragedies I have experienced. I look at three main tragedies and their differences all were cases with youth deaths; Emily, Kjersti and the Graves family; Laura, Kaleb, Kelsey and Cameron. In these three tragedies I watched very closely my fellow peers as we all grieved together, I watched those who had this knowledge of a Plan of Salvation and of God and Heaven and there was hope for them, they knew deep down that everything would be okay and that we would all be together again. I then watched those who didn’t have any knowledge of what was to come. I honestly don’t know what hurt worse the deaths of those we were grieving or the people who didn’t know, they truly had no hope you could see it you, could feel it,  they were so lost, they truly believed that their friends were gone forever, that was it. These experiences have changed me and have manifested to me in more ways then I can ever express, it's through these times that I have truly found myself.

Family is the key, the key to human life and to God’s Plan. We are all children of God which makes us all family spiritually. Heavenly Father saw family as being so important that he put into his plan the idea that we all come to Earthly parents. Family and knowledge are the only things we will take with us after we die, but only if we are sealed to our families in his temple. When a man and women are sealed to create an eternal family they make a three way covenant with Heavenly Father. It is a powerful thing to be sealed to your family. It puts a Permanent block on those sad wedding words said “till death do you part” because it goes beyond into eternity. I feel the family is the most important thing we have. It is something that is being lost today, Satan knows full well that if he takes down the family he can take down the Plan. That is why we are seeing such a strike against the traditional family. This is why we need to fight more than ever before to keep Heavenly Father’s idea of family.

I could go on all day preaching to you of what I believe, but I have given you a base of what I know. I have a deep testimony of these things and they are at my foundation. I testify of all things to be true and I will go to the grave defending these truths. I pray to Heavenly Father every day and give thanks for the knowledge and understanding I have. Without belief we are nothing, without God we are nothing, through him we are everything.

I encourage everyone to go and write their own manifesto it can be a powerful thing!