Hey all, welcome backwild and I
need to get some thoughts down before I go wild.
Okay, I have been thinking a lot about adventures and
bucket lists the last while. Bucket lists are a big part of the millennial
world and of today's world in general. There is a lot of #bucketlist things
going on and so many trying to one up their friends with their #Bucketlist. I
am not saying bucket lists are bad, I think they are good for the human soul,
we all need the thrills of experiences and adventures. It is part of our Devine
inheritance to want to discover new things and new adventures. But.... (there
is always a but) What if there was more that the bucket lists of super cool
things I have wanted to do like cage dive with great whites or hike the Grand
Canyon (both on my own personal list). What if there was a whole list of things
I never knew I needed...
Allow me to
explain further...
I have also been doing a lot of reflecting because,
well, reflecting is one of my favorites. So recently I have been reflecting on
how fun those adventure bucket lists are. But what about the bucket list we
never knew we needed? It is an interesting thought, right? How often do we sit
back and list the items we have done that we knew we needed? That is the bucket
list, in my mind, that God has for us. These are the experience and adventures
I never even knew I needed, they are the adventures I look back on with extra
joy and gratitude as I see why those items were accomplished. These aren't
always the easiest and most fun, but they are the most necessary. I want to
share with you all some of my never knew bucket list and I encourage all to
take a minute and do this exercise to see what your never knew bucket list is
and see the adventures you never really realized. You might be surprised at
what all you have thus far accomplished... Cherish those experiences...
-Losing
friends, gaining angels...
A lot of these aren't necessarily joy filled but they
things that have made me who I am. The first that came to me was losing friends
and gaining angels. Death is not at all an easy part of this life, but it is a
necessary part of the plan. We will all lose friends to different tragic
events, but when we lose a friend on this side, it is important to remember we
gain an angel on the other side. I am grateful for the friends I've loved along
the way, and those who have left this mortal existence. It is through these
painful moments of death that I have found new life and found my testimony that
life does go on. I remember a few tender moments through my life where I have
felt these friends become my angels from the other side and I cannot wait for
the day I get to hug them and hold them again. I mentioned, these items are not
always easy, but they will be worth it.
-Many funerals
Not long ago as my family prepared to attend another
funeral, I had a friend ask me if I was tired of attending funerals yet...? My
answer in my mind was a saddened of course I am... But the answer that came
from my lips was a little different. The answer can be found in a conversation
between my brother and I a while back about how we had lost count of the number
of funerals we have been to. We both sat in quiet sadness, then discussed our
gratitude in being touched by so many profound lives. As I write this, tears
fill my eyes as I think of the list of names in my scriptures of those who have
left his mortal life. Tears of sadness and missing, but tears of pure gratitude
in having so many people cross my path. Just like my list item above, each of
these precious souls have become yet another fighting angel on the other side.
With every passing comes a new friend on the other side and an even stronger
testimony that I will see them all again.
-Making
enemies
This one doesn't sound so happy either and it
certainly was not during the times, but these moments have taught more about
how I can be a better friend and how to forgive. Years ago, I lost one of my
best friends from childhood, to this day I have no idea what really happened
between us. At first, I was angry because of all we shared together and I was
hurt because I didn't even know why this was happening. Soon, after prayers and
time with my Heavenly Father I came to an even greater place of love for this
person and a forgiveness I cannot truly explain. I love this person more than I
did before, and where I still don't know what I did wrong. I feel these types
of experiences have made me a better friend as I have had to reflect on my own
part in relationships. I am not perfect, but I want to always improve my
ability to be a friend.
-Being a visa
waiter
Okay, so we have all heard the annoying recount of
Michayla's visa waiting experience, but it was fundamental in more ways than I
have even begun to discover. For those who are new in my world, I was called to
be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in 2013...
I was called to serve in Fortaleza, Brazil. I ended up on a wild visa waiting
adventure. Sister missionaries serve for eighteen months. I ended up getting
temporarily resigned to the Washington DC South, mission. I spent fourteen
months there and then the remainder four months in Fortaleza. Can I say first
off that a mission was not on my bucket list in the first place. It was always
a back of the mind thought but never on my Michayla bucket list, for sure on
that Heavenly Father, I never knew I needed bucket list. Then there was the
visa waiting, I could spend an entire book on the lessons from that experience.
Here it is in a nutshell, that was EXACTLY what I needed to go through. Looking
back, I can see the exact reason for why I left DC when I did and why I spent
the short time I needed to in Brazil. This one is one of my never knew I needed
bucket list items, but man has it been a game changer for this lil Colorado
Cowgirl.
-The big ones
don't stop
November 4, 2012... Michayla was driving to her
educator shift at SeaWorld... She was about 5 miles from home and stopped at a
stop light, when... BAM... A big red semi came at her coming 60. Lucky for us
friends, Michayla drives a very special Toyota Tundra named John Wayne whose
bed took the brunt of the blow. What did this day teach our little adventurer?
No one is immortal. There are lots of life flashing moments, so you better be
ready at any time. This time period taught me a lot about having to be a big
kid far away from home too. I was getting ready to move home to Colorado to
serve a mission and I had to deal with all of this. It taught me I can handle
more than I think I can, and that the Lord will but just the right people in
your path to help you out, all the way from best friends to great home and
visiting teachers, oh and really great trucks too!
-Losing a job
Anyone who has ever lost a job knows it is not an
enjoyable experience. I had never been cut from a job until recently. It was
harder than I wanted to admit out-loud, in a lot of ways that job and its loss
really set me back more than I care to admit beyond my writing, but it did.
This job was a job that helped me find a calling and love that I didn't really
realize I possessed. This job helped me find new ways of dealing with people
and discovering a new gift and passion. This is another looking back lesson. As
I look back on this job I can see how it is a blessing from God that I was let
go. The coworker experience was in some ways toxic and I was not able to really
reach my potential. The work was amazing, but the leadership aspect was
crippling. It was amazing that I worked for two years as basically a button
pusher at Disney and felt like a real part of the team and then in this
possession where the work was so much more, I felt like absolutely nothing.
This experience showed me a gift I needed to understand in myself. It showed me
how to be a better leader and make those under you feel the worth they deserve,
and once again, it showed me that Heavenly Father is aware of those who trust
him. I thought it was the end of the world when I walked from that building,
but really it was another important piece of the list I never knew I needed.
-Disney
denial
Many know my love for Disney and my joy in having the
opportunity to work down in Orlando. What many do not know is that the first
time I applied I was denied. That one threw me for a loop. I had just graduated
high school and had a semester of nursing classes under my belt at Red Rocks.
My next plan for life was to go off to a quick internship at Disney, and then
come home after the four months to finish my degree... What was I to do? I
couldn't re-apply for six more months. I remember running to the steer pen and
crying to the cattle and God at the confusion of the plan. Well, in the loving
way Heavenly Father does, he had yet another door right there waiting for me. I
figured I better do more school while I waited. With heavy heart I signed up
for more nursing classes... At this time my silly mamma brought up the thought
of me trying something in teaching. I laughed as I had already made up my mind
to be a nurse. However, I did sign up for an intro to education class (with a
conjoining internship). At first, I was all like, whatever, moms don't know
anything. All you who are giving a little chuckle know where this one goes.
After a semester of my favorite class ever and an incredible assistant teaching
experience with one of my favorite women in Kindergarten, I changed my major to
education. I probably wouldn't have taken that path if not for that denied
application and a really wise Heavenly Father and mamma!
-A loss of
humor
Are you bored yet? Well, too bad, this is my head you
are in folks. Here we go, Junior year of High School, state speech meet. I was
a favorite to win state in humorous interp. I went through my rounds with
confidence that I had it made. Three rounds of hard competition later, and
finals is posted... I didn't even make it to finals... I was a devastated
teenager, what do they do? They cry folks. I ran and hid and cried. After a
couple chats with mom and others a favorite coach approached me. I had known
and respected this great mentor for many years. He asked me to take a walk with
him. I wish I had written down everything he had shared, but I was a dumb
teenager. What I do remember is that he told me it is okay to cry for a bit and
it is okay to be disappointed, but that I cannot do that for long. He told me I
had a great talent within this world and that I was the sorta girl that needed
to basically "get back on the horse." He told me I was not one to
give up. Inside I wanted to, I wanted to just go home, but he reminded me I had
another event the next day. After a hug and an ending talk of encouragement I
went into the next day sad but holding to this mentor's powerful words. I
needed up winning state in Creative Story Telling. I will never forget that
teacher and his wisdom to this young teen to not give up but to keep fighting.
I will never forget his love that he shared and the lesson to "get back in
the saddle."
-Broken
hearts
We all hate broken hearts, but we learn to love them,
whether we realize it or not. I am grateful for every broken heart I have ever
received because each has taught me something new and has caused me to move
closer to my loving Father in Heaven. These broken hearts taught me how to
forgive and maintain my most cherished friendships. They taught me what I do
and don't want in my future forever. They taught me more about myself and how I
need to be better, but also that I am one heck of a catch. I have seen how each
one has made me stronger of a person! God asks a broken heart and contrite
spirit. I am proud of my broken heart and look forward to giving more pieces
and receiving more in return.
-Pushing
buttons for bread
I talked a lot about working at Disney. Well, it
changed me guys, what can I say, dreams do come true. When I first went to
Disney I was an intern at Small World and Peter Pan. Yes, I was a theme park
button pusher, but at Disney you feel a part of something so much bigger. That
friends are a gift that is being lost in our world. "There are no small
parts, only small actors." Well guess what? That applies to job too! I am
so grateful for the "meaningless" jobs that have taught me to true
meaning of the importance of every single position. And PS Small World is still
my favorite ride in the entire world!!
-No Sunday times
If you know anything about Mormons, you know they love
Sunday! There was time that I didn't take Sunday blessings so seriously. Once again,
we go back to the beginning of my Disney internship. I worked a lot of hours at
Disney. For the four months of that internship I think I went to church maybe
twice... I didn't feel confident in my attending a singles ward, I didn't feel
I fit in (my fault, I never went), I didn't think I needed that time. I read my
scriptures every day, I prayed, I listened to talks... BUT as those months
continued I found myself more tired, and emptier in a way. I loved my
internship and the people around me but there was a lil something missing....
to be continued...
-A child shall
lead them
Here is the continuation (I know the suspense almost
killed you). As I moved into a new location and settled to stay in Florida I
knew I needed to get back into the swing of things and fill that empty part. At
the time I didn't know what was missed (I do now). I went to the Citrus Ridge
Family Ward. I was engulfed by a family I never really expected and placed in a
calling to teach a class of about twelve four-year olds... With that calling
came a responsibility to be at church every Sunday. Guys, I found what was
missing. I needed that moment of Sacrament each week, I needed that family, and
I needed those kids. I now see why we are commanded to take the sacrament at church
every week, I see so clearly why the Lord commands us to keep that sacred day
holy. I cannot afford to ever let that happen ever again. I need that filling.
Another thing on the list that I never knew I needed.
-No party invites
Okay, I am almost done (you guys should see my full
list... this is nothing). Once upon a time there was a super shy homeschooled
Michayla that struggled in high school. She was not invited to many parties,
she didn't go on many dates, she was awkward and shy (yes, I was once painfully
shy). In my dramatic teen years, I thought it was everyone else fault, guess
what? It wasn't, I got invited to what I needed to be invited to. I needed to
learn to reach out I needed to learn to invite for myself. I needed to find my
own confidence not based on the acceptance of others. Yes, we do need to invite
others and we do need to always work to reach out, BUT we have to be accepting
too. How many times do we get invited to things and then turn them away and
later blame everyone else for our loneliness. Think on it, I had to, and it
made all the difference. It wasn't easy to step out, but none of these things
have been easy... That is the point of this never knew I needed bucket list,
isn't is great?
-Holding the
dying critters
Okay, this one is sad too. Many of you know my love
for the ranch life and for the critters that feed us and love us. I am grateful
for every calf I have raised, every hog I have held, and every critter that has
passed through my care. I am humbled the Lord allows us to be stewards of these
critters and of this beautiful planet. I have received a lot of criticism over
the years for "eating my pets." That simply is not how it is folks.
These critters have taught me more about God, life, and stewardship than any
class or lecture ever has or ever will. A couple weeks the power of this
stewardship was refreshed on my mind as I held a calf as he died in my arms. I
was overwhelmed in that moment of sadness by a love from my Heavenly Father for
being a wise steward. These animals have not been easy, but they have been at
the top of my bucket list I never knew I needed. When I started raising these
animals so long ago I never fully knew how much they would make me who I am,
for them I am grateful.
Alright, I am done for now, those are just a small
handful of examples I felt impressed to share. I re-instate my invitation for
you all to do this practice and see how God's Bucket List has truly been the
Bucket list you never knew you needed! Have a good night all and know how loved
you are!
Writing because I cannot sleep and I am sort of tired of writing for school... So, welcome, once again, to the corners of Michayla's mind. 
I took this poor, skinny, flea ridden, pup home and put him in the backyard.. He very quickly won over the hearts of all in the home. He quickly earned the very fitting name Ferdinand because of his clumsy ways but obvious capacity to love. After some research on the rules for pit-bull breeds in that area I realized if he wanted to be saved, I needed to keep him. After a bath and vet visits he wormed his way right into the hearts of all in the home. Only problem was his unpredictable behavior. He was labeled by many as a "vicious" dog and obviously neglected by past owners, which labeled him as "untrainable."
Fast forward to today a sad day of goodbyes to this gentil and sweet spirit. I look back at these past seven years with much joy and some challenge. Ask my poor family who took him during my years away serving the Lord... He gave them quite a run, good thing Egberts are the most loving people I know haha... Their were rough moments but in the end a best friend. I write this for my pup Ferdinand and we snuggle together in his last night of this mortal life. I am reminded of the memories, the first meetings with new friends. I think of the times trying to walk this very head strong pup through the streets of Celebration. I think back on the fishing trips of a girl, her truck, and her pup. I think of the road trips across the county and the safety he provided in the sketchy hotel rooms. I think of the times I help him and cried because of the loneliness I felt.I think of the times he licked my face and snuggled into my broken heart after a bad date or a hard breakup. He knows it all... I think of the way this pup fulfilled his purpose so fully. I love my boy! 
