Monday, July 23, 2012

Poop, shavings, hell and hope for our future!

I just returned to Florida from another fantastic visit to my beautiful Colorado. This past weekend was the Park County Fair, it also became the weekend for the new batman and the day a man would walk into an Aurora movie theatre set a bomb and shoot into a crowd killing 12 and wounding many more. Through the excitement and stress of the fair we all somehow found our own little ways to honor those who had been lost in this horrible tragedy. As for me I choose thought to be my tool for dealing with tragedies of the world.

As I sat and thought of this evil that had been done, and of all the evil being done. My heart felt heavy and depressed at the thought of how horrible the world has become, as I know many of you have thought along these lines. I continue to watch the news and observe closely what is going on around me. The more I thought the worse I felt. Then I had one of those beautiful moments of hope and relief, one of those moments that reminds me that there is opposition in all things and Heavenly Father will always allow the good to counter the bad.

So what was this magical moment? Well as I sat and agonized over the thought of evil taking over the hearts of men I looked around and saw what was right there in front of me. You want to know what I saw? I saw people, beautiful people that I know and love with all my heart. These people are some of the hardest working, down to heart people I know. I looked I saw the kids, the 4hers, these kids are tough and full of passion and heart. I have never met a kid that works harder than a 4her or a farm kid. They don't mind getting stepped on pushed around and beaten down because they know how to wipe the dust from their jeans and stand right back up again. When they need to they have heart and a connection to this earth that one can only have by working it and it's creatures. Yah they eat their own animals but these kids put more heart and love into that animal than you will ever know unless you have done it. It's hard as hell to sell those animals but because of the love you have for them and the others of the future you keep doing every year because of the reward of giving an animal the best life and bringing it to it's purpose is amazing.

Anyway back to what I was talking about, hope. These kids are strong and bring me hope. I saw that in my little brother Malachi who despite his very injured foot and a steer that decided to be a nasty little devil, finished the show, evan after being trampled multiple times. I don't know if there ever was a time I was more proud of him than in that moment after showmanship went bad and he told me he needed to finish the job! In my eyes, in that moment my little brother became so much closer to being a man than most in our world will ever be. This is the spirit of a 4her, I have to finish the job, even through the pain. The 4her spirit is also caring and teaching, I saw that when I watched an older 4her surrounded by little children as she washed, brushed and took care of her calves. Every time I turned around the 4her had another little girl helping her wash or another boy asking to sit on her steer. Without fail every time she gave them a big smile and took the time to let them be a part of her project.

That's how the 4h kid is, sure there are the moments of stress and politics that invade the 4h situation, feeling still get hurt and many end of leaving because of it, but the program of 4h teaches you more about life and what the real world is like in ways that no other activity can. So as I sit and think about this tragedy and all that goes on in our world. I will think of these kids that continually work to make the world better in a seemingly small way. I will think of them and the tears shed for a little steer, hog, or lamb and I will see how they have the very smallest taste of what our Savior feels when he watches his lambs go off to the slaughter. I will look at these 4hers and I will find hope for the future!

Saturday, July 14, 2012


I love people. This hit me again like a ton of bricks the other day, I love people. I don't know why I love people, they are mean and manipulative, angry and cold. People know how to hurt the most, and yet I love them all of them. Even the ones I hate so much I could take them out, I still love them and want them to have every chance in the world to be better. So why do I love people is it a gift or is it a curse? A blessing or a burden?

Let's start off with the nasty. People are mean, I have worked with cattle since I was young and I have been dragged, stepped on and trampled. No animal no injury will ever compare to the pain brought on by people. I have walls, we all have walls and I feel like almost every time we break them down just a little, someone comes in for a sneak attack. This leads to a build up of even stronger harder walls. I will never forget the pain brought by some best friends, people I let into my tight circle of trust who broke, no, shattered that circle. The pain they have caused will never heal it will always remain in my memory forever and ever. People are also cunning and tricky we know just how to push the right buttons to make others feel the worst about themselves and others.

This is all brought on by the world and the evil natural man that lurks in our souls. That dark side inside. We all have it don't try and deny it. I know that as you read this your dark side becomes tickled at the mention of its name. Unfortunately we all have moments of letting that darkness free to feed on the light of ourselves and others. Some much more than others.  It is warped and evil but every time we let that darkness take over we let it run more and more of our minds sometimes we allow it to completely take over. We must combat it all that we can. That dark side will fight more and more to be free but we must use our agency to keep it withheld. If we don't we allow for pain and anguish on us and those we love.

As nasty and horrible people are that is just how good and beautiful they can be, all of them, even those that let the dark control they still have a small piece of light that gives them beauty. I love all people and their ability to love and care. There truly is opposition in all things because every evil thing a person does is countered by something amazing a person does. It truly is amazing to me.

That is why I love people because of their ability to be good. I have been hurt many times as I know we all have. I can honestly say that I still love those who have hurt me with all my heart. If they wanted to be back in my life I would apologize and forgive in a second because I can't stand losing people. Every person I have known has somehow touched my heart for good, some more than others, but in someway I have been touched.

I think it's a gift to love people as much as I do, true their is burden to the love I have, but there is burden to every blessing. I am not trying to be big headed just honest. I want to help everyone and change their lives for good because all people are good and have love in their heart. I think that is why I want to teach is because I want to bless others and touch their lives almost as much as they touch mine, with their many shapes sizes and many fantastic passions. I know it opens me up to criticism and pain but I am going to continue to love all people with all my heart!

I just wanted express my feelings of love even as I struggled with some people in my life. I love them so much they will never truly know!

Goodnight all have a magnificent evening!