Friday, December 21, 2012

Where is your agency...

I have been thinking a lot about agency and the many different things we choose to place our agency in. It's been at the forefront of my mind because it has been something that I have struggled with and something that a lot of those around me are struggling with. There are so many in such great darkness right now, maybe because of loss or maybe because of drama with friends or maybe just a schedule that is far out of hand. Life is stressful and when we place our agency in other things it tends to become so much more helpless... So what are some of the things we place agency in... Well there are of course the things that are good and others that are not so good and not leading us to a place of hope.

Lets talk about the bad agencies first. The ones of the world that bring nothing but a moment of pleasure and a lasting pain. These are the agencies of the world. Things like alcohol and drugs and even possessions. Things that are tangible and momentary, they will never bring lasting hope or comfort, only a momentary rush that is nothing more than a simple numbing. I don't care who you are i'm sure you have fallen to these things at least once in your life. I know I have, I have had moments of hopelessness where I place my agency in something momentary and worldly. It's natural but we should develop power over these things and realize they will never bring a lasting joy and they will never bring  forth good fruits. They will never drive up to do good!

Now there are things that we can put our agency in that are better and better use of our time and effort but they still aren't the best. Things like our jobs, our church organizations and people. All good things that are right and true but they will not do us any good to place our agency in. Why must you ask? Because when we place our agency in these better things we still will not win. All these things are good things but none of them are perfect. I personally am a people pleaser, I will try and do everything in my power to make everyone happy and also make everyone love me. The fact of the matter is not everyone loves me and not everyone will be happy. By being a people pleaser I will never truly be happy because I will always burden my mind with ways to make everyone els better and never take care of me. So you see even these good things do not deserve our agency, when our agency is placed in these things we still wont find peace and hope. Maybe a little longer that with the tangible things but it won't last.

So where is the hope where should we put our agency? (Here's where I'm going to get churchy.) We have to put our full agency into God!! We have to work through him and submit completely to him! Part of placing our agency in God is realizing that we have to humble and fix ourselves before we try and save the world. The beautiful part about putting our agency in  God is that everything else will work out in the end. True there will still be moments of trial and pain but there will be longer taste of hope and joy and all the good things will fall into place. All the other things that we think we are supposed to focus on, jobs, people, church all those good things will work in the end when we put our agency in God. So for me this next year I am going to work even harder to put my whole agency in God because I know that if I do so all the rest of life will work out!

Well there is my little ramble for the night! Time to go snuggle my puppy have a fantastic evening!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Never goodbye, just see ya later!....

Now its time to say goodbye
to all our company. 

see you real soon 
why? because we like you

I will not lie last week was one of the hardest weeks. I have had to say goodbye to so many things and amazing people. I have loved my time in Florida more than I can ever express. Florida is where I needed to come to grow up and find the real me! I have not regretted any of my time here everything I have done here, both good and bad has all been part of an unforgettable adventure and has built me for my ongoing adventure. 

Tomorrow my roommate and I head out on the 35 hour drive to Colorado along with two dogs and cat. Come on we know how to have fun, admit it! It will be an awesome time, but my heart is heavy. I am so excited for what lies ahead but I do not leave the past easily or people. So I want to dedicate this blog to the incredible people here in Florida who have touched my life. 

I love you all so much my Disney family, my SeaWorld family, my church family and my friends who are my family now. All who helped make my Florida life become an adventure I love you all! You have changed my life for good! 

On one of the last nights in Florida we all went to to Epcot and we watched Illuminations (the fireworks show) which happens to be my favorite. I was ok, wasn't crying until the song "We go on" came on and I was tightly hugged by those I love dearly. I listened close to the words and reflected on an amazing two years full of adventure and growth! I reflected on the people I had met, the ones who have hurt me and built me, I reflected on the jobs I've had that have taught me and showed me a real and beautiful world.

More than anything I reflected on my testimony and how it has grown even more. I have lived, I have been tempted, I have felt the influence of Satan, I have felt loneliness and pain. I have come to the brink of giving up, but I have done my best to always stand back up. As I stood there reflecting I felt a humble pride of what I have accomplished in my short life. I know very well that it was not me, it was done through my Heavenly Father. I am nothing except through him, then I am everything! I will never forget the people of my Florida life, I will never forget the lessons learned in the last two years. I will take this Michayla and give her over to the Lord and his service! Just know it was never done alone!!!! 

We go on:

With the stillness of the night
there comes a time to understand
to reach out and touch tomorrow 
take the future in our hand

We can see a new horizon 
built on all that we have done 
and our dreams begin another
thousand circles 'round the sun

We go on 
to the joy and through the tears 
We go on 
to discover new frontiers 
Moving on 
with the current of the years 
We go on 
moving forward, now as one 
Moving on 
with a spirit born to run 
Ever on 
with each rising sun

To a new day
We go on

We go on