"The soul is healed by being with children."

"The soul is healed by being with children."

This is and English proverb and also something that hit me harder than usual today after another great Sunday with my incredible CTR 4 class! I will not lie the last couple weeks have been very up, down, in and out. I go to church with different weights on my mind and I am always baffled by how much better I feel afterwards. Not only do I feel closer to God but I feel like a real someone again. I am a primary teacher for the CTR 4 class in our ward. I truly love each and everyone of those little ones, they are so angelic. I work with them and I see nothing but light, truth and love.... and the occasional booger... They see things so simply and so clearly and honestly. 

Today we talked about the life of Jesus Christ and how he was born just like they were and that's why we celebrate Christmas time. We talked about his childhood and how he was a little kid just like them. I asked them what he did when he was an adult... Almost all of them raised there hands and told me that he did miracles. They told me that he died for everyone. We talked about his resurrection and how he died, but not really cause he came to life again. To them the stories are so simple and so real without a shadow of any sort of doubt, they don't care what the world thinks, they don't over think the stories and they never second guess. They truly know the Savior as their own best friend. 

I love teaching these angels so very much they truly do heal the soul (even on their rough days). They have that magical innocence that adults can't even achieve. I just wish our world didn't frown so much on the childlike ways of seeing life because those ways will heal the broken, hurting soul. I will never be able to fully thank these children for the gifts and lessons they have given me. They have truly changed my life and have done so much to help me come closer to my Savior and to the real me! I will miss them terribly when it comes time to leave!!

 

 My greatest wish is to become more as these little children!! 

That is my little thought for tonight, have a lovely evening! 

I hope they call me on a mission...

Hello friends! So guess who's moving back to Colorado?!?! This girl!! Guess who's not staying long...?? That's right this girl!! I have decided to serve a mission. It has been a long and very hard decision mostly because if you know me at all you know how much I over think everything. I have come to the conclusion that this is what I need to do, scratch that, this is what God wants me to do.

I am insecure, I don't always like Me I don't always see the beauty within, but I am confident in the Gospel and my unbelievable love for every person I come across. I am not going on a mission because I am not married and I have nothing up next for me. I am going because I do have so much going for me. This is hard I have built a life in Florida with two jobs that I love dearly. Not to mention the people I have fallen in love with but it's God's time.

I have had two incredible years in Florida and I feel like I have come so much closer to finding the real Me. I have found it through incredibly hard and beautiful times. I have had to be a big girl but I have had adventure doing it. I honestly feel like my heavenly Father has given me these two years to find adventure and more importantly find Me! Now it's time for Me to share this precious gift with the world. What is this gift that is so perfect and precious?

This is the true and everlasting Gospel of Jesus Christ! This is the single most important thing in my life. My knowledge of the Gospel has literally saved my life more times than I will ever admit to count. It is the very foundation of everything that is Michayla. It is my light in an increasingly horrible and dark world. We are nothing without foundation. Well I am truly nothing without the Gospel! I want nothing more than to share this most foundational part of myself with the world! It will bring true peace, joy, and eternal peace of mind.

I must say this decision has been hard and in the worlds standard extremely lonely. It's amazing how much Satan knows us and knows what and who to use against us. He is dark and evil and will do anything to bring us down to his level of despair... He is getting stronger and we are all being affected by it. It seems to be one thing after another, Bam, Bam BAM!!!! He punches he blows and kicks us when we are down. Luckily we still have the choice to get up and fight or stay down beaten and victim to the world... We have the choice, and part of that choice is opposition, no matter how much Satan beats us down Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will give us the light and weapons to fight back and in the end we will conquer all evil, we just have to stand true and decide!

I want everyone around me to feel what is in my heart I want everyone to have the tools to defeat the evils of life. I want us all to feel the joy that I know is there is we ask and seek it! I have never wanted anything so much in my life, so no this is not a lonely unmarried, undecided future decision this is a long and hard thought out decision for something I love so much I am willing to give everything for it and give everything for others to have what I have. Well I do plan on covering more in the future but I wanted to tell the world what was going on! I hope and pray for adventure and more growth as I move forward with this decision to give my life to my Heavenly Father and my fellow man with all the love in my heart!

Love you all!!

Satan is real!

Guess what friends, I am incredibly grateful especially after the last couple weeks. I have noticed something, the fall seems to be a low time or maybe we are just nearing the end of days, who knows? I just know that the few weeks have been very difficult and trying the last few weeks. There have been breakups, accidents, police, elections, threats of suicide, death and so much more all over the place. I feel like everywhere I turn there is something new stressing out, or bringing down a friend. It's a time of darkness and dismay. Luckily through the sorrows and the let downs there is always something beautiful, I will explain on but I need to go back to the reality of darkness for a moment.

The other day I went to institute (Bible study for college students for the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day saints.) We were discussing opposition and how we will be tested by the adversary. Then we talked about Joseph Smith and the first vision. He went to humbly ask God what church to join, and before he got an answer he was tested and Satan took him over:

15 After I had retired to the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was^aseized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick ^bdarkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction.

 16 But, exerting all my powers to ^acall upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into ^bdespair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being—just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of ^clight exactly over my head, above the brightness of the ^dsun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.

That is just a small piece of the chapter that tells the first vision but during this experience he learned so much more than what church to join and that God was real but the LDS people often forget is that he also learned the reality of Satan.

I feel like so many around have gone through that same realization, without even knowing it. I know I have!! I always knew, but in the last few months it has truly become a realization that Satan is just as real and present in our lives. I also feel that we all go through these moment similar to Joseph where just when all hope is lost and despair is upon us the light comes to rescue us and bring comfort! Not to mention I think it's those moments of despair that bring us to a submissiveness that allows us to fully learn what we need to from the good and bad moments.

The fact of the matter is Heavenly Father is real, Jesus Christ is real and so is Satan. If we work to put our agency fully to Heavenly Father we will always be rescued from the despair! There is always opposition, not only against us but for us too! There will be an increase in evil but because of opposition there really will always be the same amount of good too, we just might have to look a little harder for it!!

Dear mother, I brought the end of the world...

Sooo.... If you know me at all, you know that I have a small (but totally healthy) interest in the end of the world/Apocalypse. I love nothing more than to snuggle up with a good piece of the book of Revelation after a good segment on History channel about some sort of theory of the future and our doom. Anyway it has been at the front of my mind more than usually in particular the anti Christ, who is supposedly the one to bring the end of times to pass. Then I started to think about who he might be and where he came from, which then brought me to his mother and a rather interesting theory I have.

Everyone has a mother right? So that must mean the anti christ, whoever he is must have one too right? As I talked to a few different people about what she might be like, they looked at me a little weird and then said that she must be evil. To raise such a creation that brings on the end of the world and the return of Christ you have to be evil right? Well that is part of what think. She might be evil as evil can be teaching her son in all the devilish ways he needs to bring this entire chapter of the Plan of Salvation to great and dreadful end. What if she is not evil what if she has the strength equivalent to Mary or even stronger?

So here is my big theory, but first I need to talk about Satan and the Plan of Salvation (the plan in which the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints aka Mormons, believe in) in this plan we believe that we all lived with our Heavenly Father in a pre-mortal existence before Adam and Eve and even before the Earth. We believe that there was a war in Heaven over what plan to choose, Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation (hint, hint we picked that) and Lucifer's plan (a plan with no agency simply just come to Earth do what we are told and go back home, no choice, no experience, no learning. Giving all glory to Lucifer) Anyway Lucifer's Plan was denied he and one third of the host of Heaven were cast down to Hell. Why is this part of my theory? Because the last being to bring forth the end to a precious piece of this plan was Satan, so the anti Christ must be almost, if not equally evil to Satan.

So now here we go my theory on the mother to this evil creature is that maybe she is a strong beautiful God fearing women, someone that is trained in the Gospel and strong to the equivalent of Mary. Very bold I understand but if you think of it for a man/women to be THAT incredibly evil I think they would have to have been raised in goodness and truth. The most unforgivable sin it to deny the Holy Ghost. I think for the anti Christ to be that truly evil they would have had to choose to deny God and truth, just as Lucifer (who had full knowledge) denied the Father.

If my theory is at all correct and this women, this mother is not evil and is good, she would have to be just about one of the most strengthened of all Heavenly Father's children. Perhaps strong enough that in the pre-mortal life she volunteered to take on this task. If this is so and she is not the mother of all evil then my heart aches for her and the pain she will experience as she endures a future that her child will bring to an end, or bring on the beginning?....

Passion vs. Addiction....

Passion is a fantastic thing. It's been one of my biggest awe-ha moments lately. I have also noticed that true passion is starting to die or become miss interpreted. I fear that many in our world have a hard time deciphering passion from addiction. Yes, I do believe that passion and addiction are very similar and it can be very hard to tell if one is addicted to something or passionate about it. You may come to disagree but guess what I don't care, this is my blog ha!

Anyway, you have passion. For me passion is extremely powerful. It is a love for something that is magnified into into almost an obsession. However just like anything it should be taken in moderation, I also believe it should be spread and grown to other things. Allow to explain further. I have great passion for the gospel, I would give my everything for the gospel, it is the most important thing in the world to me. Of course I have other passions too like cattle, education, America etc... I feel that passions are almost like talents you should find more and more, and make yourself and expert over your passions. I think they should be good strong healthy passions as well (obviously.) I honestly think that without passion nothing would ever get done. No one would care enough to fight if they weren't passionate. Joan of Arc, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Jesus Christ, and so many others accomplished all these world changing events because of their passion.

Now before I get to my point I want to talk about addiction. Addiction is painful and something that each and everyone of us will deal with in our lives in some form. I don't know what your addictions are but I know I have my own and I fight them everyday. Now we are all on a mortal experience and addiction is something that we all must experience and overcome. We live in a world that tells us every minute that addiction is good, we should own and accept our addictions. In reality they are harmful and completely and utterly Selfish. Yup I said it our addictions are as low and selfish as we can go. This about your personal addiction (I will think about mine.) Now think how that addiction is something that pulls you from those you love and from your higher power, now think how that addiction is something sought not to build you and strengthen you, but to bring you some sort of twisted momentary happiness. Now think of how the world tells you that they are good and ok and hey you were born that way!! Yah you may have been born to develop those addictions but remember We always have the choice in the end! Will we choose to become trapped in that addiction or will we choose to be free?

Now I want to compare Passion and Addiction because I think the world confuses us into thinking addictions are passions, and vise versa. True they are both a sort of obsession but you have addiction which serves you and you have passion which usually serves others. Either that or it builds us to change the world in some selfless way. When you google the word passion, one of the main things you see is Christ  and his sacrifice and Atonement which is often called the Passion of Christ! So to me having true passions will in the end bless others, my passion for education has already blessed not just me but others I know and love dearly. As you look at your life and what you consider yourself passionate about look and see if it will be something that blesses you and only you if so maybe it's not the best thing to be spending your time on, perhaps it's time to see if maybe that is an addiction, and solve the problem. Please by all means don't allow that addiction to make you a victim, instead choose to destroy that from your mind and find your true passions!! Remember that passions will bring forth good fruit so go journey out and find that thing and makes you want to give up everything so defend. Find your passion and share it with the world! I will tell you one thing, passions are not easy they take much time and study and they grow and develop at their own pace but when they are found they will break your heart with care and joy!! Go search, find, share your passion!!

Poop, shavings, hell and hope for our future!

I just returned to Florida from another fantastic visit to my beautiful Colorado. This past weekend was the Park County Fair, it also became the weekend for the new batman and the day a man would walk into an Aurora movie theatre set a bomb and shoot into a crowd killing 12 and wounding many more. Through the excitement and stress of the fair we all somehow found our own little ways to honor those who had been lost in this horrible tragedy. As for me I choose thought to be my tool for dealing with tragedies of the world.

As I sat and thought of this evil that had been done, and of all the evil being done. My heart felt heavy and depressed at the thought of how horrible the world has become, as I know many of you have thought along these lines. I continue to watch the news and observe closely what is going on around me. The more I thought the worse I felt. Then I had one of those beautiful moments of hope and relief, one of those moments that reminds me that there is opposition in all things and Heavenly Father will always allow the good to counter the bad.

So what was this magical moment? Well as I sat and agonized over the thought of evil taking over the hearts of men I looked around and saw what was right there in front of me. You want to know what I saw? I saw people, beautiful people that I know and love with all my heart. These people are some of the hardest working, down to heart people I know. I looked I saw the kids, the 4hers, these kids are tough and full of passion and heart. I have never met a kid that works harder than a 4her or a farm kid. They don't mind getting stepped on pushed around and beaten down because they know how to wipe the dust from their jeans and stand right back up again. When they need to they have heart and a connection to this earth that one can only have by working it and it's creatures. Yah they eat their own animals but these kids put more heart and love into that animal than you will ever know unless you have done it. It's hard as hell to sell those animals but because of the love you have for them and the others of the future you keep doing every year because of the reward of giving an animal the best life and bringing it to it's purpose is amazing.

Anyway back to what I was talking about, hope. These kids are strong and bring me hope. I saw that in my little brother Malachi who despite his very injured foot and a steer that decided to be a nasty little devil, finished the show, evan after being trampled multiple times. I don't know if there ever was a time I was more proud of him than in that moment after showmanship went bad and he told me he needed to finish the job! In my eyes, in that moment my little brother became so much closer to being a man than most in our world will ever be. This is the spirit of a 4her, I have to finish the job, even through the pain. The 4her spirit is also caring and teaching, I saw that when I watched an older 4her surrounded by little children as she washed, brushed and took care of her calves. Every time I turned around the 4her had another little girl helping her wash or another boy asking to sit on her steer. Without fail every time she gave them a big smile and took the time to let them be a part of her project.

That's how the 4h kid is, sure there are the moments of stress and politics that invade the 4h situation, feeling still get hurt and many end of leaving because of it, but the program of 4h teaches you more about life and what the real world is like in ways that no other activity can. So as I sit and think about this tragedy and all that goes on in our world. I will think of these kids that continually work to make the world better in a seemingly small way. I will think of them and the tears shed for a little steer, hog, or lamb and I will see how they have the very smallest taste of what our Savior feels when he watches his lambs go off to the slaughter. I will look at these 4hers and I will find hope for the future!

People...

I love people. This hit me again like a ton of bricks the other day, I love people. I don't know why I love people, they are mean and manipulative, angry and cold. People know how to hurt the most, and yet I love them all of them. Even the ones I hate so much I could take them out, I still love them and want them to have every chance in the world to be better. So why do I love people is it a gift or is it a curse? A blessing or a burden?

Let's start off with the nasty. People are mean, I have worked with cattle since I was young and I have been dragged, stepped on and trampled. No animal no injury will ever compare to the pain brought on by people. I have walls, we all have walls and I feel like almost every time we break them down just a little, someone comes in for a sneak attack. This leads to a build up of even stronger harder walls. I will never forget the pain brought by some best friends, people I let into my tight circle of trust who broke, no, shattered that circle. The pain they have caused will never heal it will always remain in my memory forever and ever. People are also cunning and tricky we know just how to push the right buttons to make others feel the worst about themselves and others.

This is all brought on by the world and the evil natural man that lurks in our souls. That dark side inside. We all have it don't try and deny it. I know that as you read this your dark side becomes tickled at the mention of its name. Unfortunately we all have moments of letting that darkness free to feed on the light of ourselves and others. Some much more than others.  It is warped and evil but every time we let that darkness take over we let it run more and more of our minds sometimes we allow it to completely take over. We must combat it all that we can. That dark side will fight more and more to be free but we must use our agency to keep it withheld. If we don't we allow for pain and anguish on us and those we love.

As nasty and horrible people are that is just how good and beautiful they can be, all of them, even those that let the dark control they still have a small piece of light that gives them beauty. I love all people and their ability to love and care. There truly is opposition in all things because every evil thing a person does is countered by something amazing a person does. It truly is amazing to me.

That is why I love people because of their ability to be good. I have been hurt many times as I know we all have. I can honestly say that I still love those who have hurt me with all my heart. If they wanted to be back in my life I would apologize and forgive in a second because I can't stand losing people. Every person I have known has somehow touched my heart for good, some more than others, but in someway I have been touched.

I think it's a gift to love people as much as I do, true their is burden to the love I have, but there is burden to every blessing. I am not trying to be big headed just honest. I want to help everyone and change their lives for good because all people are good and have love in their heart. I think that is why I want to teach is because I want to bless others and touch their lives almost as much as they touch mine, with their many shapes sizes and many fantastic passions. I know it opens me up to criticism and pain but I am going to continue to love all people with all my heart!

I just wanted express my feelings of love even as I struggled with some people in my life. I love them so much they will never truly know!

Goodnight all have a magnificent evening!